Five Questions With “Evil Bill O’Brien”

For those of you not on Twitter, Evil Bill O’Brien, (@EvilBillOBrien) was born back in January. He has self-proclaimed himself “The (fake) Darker, Egotistical Side of Penn State’s Coach.”
I managed to track the stubborn, alter-ego down for a few questions!
When Bill O’Brien was hired at Penn State, a twitter account appeared the following day, @EvilBillOBrien, give us a quick background on that.
Well, we know that college coaches, sans Steve Spurrier, say the right things, but generally its cliche` after cliche`.  Sometimes we would like to hear the truth.  While I cannot promise the truth, Evil Bill is a chance for Penn State fans to see what they would want their coach to say at the ever absurd world of college football as I try to add some humor in a time where that seems to be lost.
What is your feel for the Big Ten and the coaches of the Big Ten?
Slime.  Evil Bill knows that Penn State has never felt fully welcomed by the conference.  Jim Delany is savvy with money, but from a national perspective, he’s out of touch.  After what happened last November, I think Penn State realized what type of leader the conference had.  
As for the coaches, Urban Meyer is a media darling so EBOB hates him.  Meyer sets up as the perfect target for Evil Bill. Hoke seems OK so far, but it’s Michigan and I’m sure he’s terrible. Unfortunately, until Michigan stops ducking us, the rivalry (us beating them, annually) isn’t there with him. Bret (Bert) Bielema and Bo Pelini seem to be the clowns of the conference.  On the surface, they seem like the meathead bullying type and since I believe they are both shallow, what you see is what you get.  As for the other coaches, well, I have my doubts…but as long as whats-his-face at Purdue keeps beating Ohio State, he’s fine by me.
What are your goals in year one?
Total domination.  The media has set the bar low, expectations are mixed and hell, there a lot of people that don’t want Penn State to play.  Let’s face it, this conference isn’t the AFC and Evil Bill had little trouble dominating that.
That’s very true. What are your thoughts on the new 4 team playoff?
Well, I guess my 1st question is, who will Penn State play in the 1st round?  I knew that Evil Bill would revolutionize college football, but that seemed like a fast change solely to make sure I was happy.  Let’s face it, the selection committee won’t be chomping at the bit to let Penn State in a playoff so I intend to give them no choice.
(I’d like to remind any of the selection committee members reading this that Evil Bill is a parody… Let’s continue.)
Recruiting is off to a good start, both in state and out of state. What’s the key to recruiting?
While coaches can’t speak about specifics, an undeniable charm and one of the sharpest offensive minds in football don’t hurt and we’ll leave it at that.
Fair enough. Coach, I have to ask- would you have any interest in contributing regularly to Victory Bell Rings?
What the hell is “victory bell…” I was told this was Black Shoe Diaries! I think Evil Bill’s coaching and recruiting abilities are contribution enough, wouldn’t you agree?  
However, I will probably have some things I need to get off my chest so consider that as a definite maybe.  If this were a credible blog, I’d be all in.
For all of the latest on the Penn State Nittany Lions, follow VBR Lead Editor Tim Tolley on Twitter.
Evil Bill O’Brien is in no way associated with Penn State University or head football coach Bill O’Brien.