Ahhh, the last weekend in October, and you know what that means…Halloween and time to Trick or Treat! it got me thinking, what should I go as this weekend for the big Penn State – Ohio State game.
Let me first try on something from the Scarlet and Grey closet. Let me see…perhaps I should go as former Ohio State coach Jim Tressel? Hmmm, I definitely have enough sweater vests that I could don, but I don’t think I own any that look as horrible as the ones he used to wear. Take a look, eeh gads!!!:
He’s probably about my height, and I think I can get down the walk. But, one problem remains, I don’t know how I should portray his ability to inform his players on the best way to liquidate their Big Ten memorabilia? Do I tell them where the best pawn shop in Columbus is or do I tell them in pig-Latin, “ooh-yay ood-shay o-gay ere-thay.” Oh, I know, I could tell Ohio State President E. Gordon Gee and he could help us out. That’s right, he’s not that bright when it comes to speaking is he? Nah, well, darn it, I’m not sure trying to be Coach Tressel for Halloween is going to work out for me. I just don’t have the pedigree of treachery and deceit that he has. It would take me years to learn all of that! Alas, I’m resigned to finding another costume for the Saturday’s big game!
Perhaps I can go as Woody Hayes! The man was a football genius, so I fit right in there with that, right?!?! I definitely have a palpable dislike for the maize and blue. BTW, I thought maize was a type of corn, not a color? At any rate, I’m sure I can find a floppy chapeau like his to wear to the game, a cute little beanie for my chrome dome! My only problem with going as Coach Hayes is my lack of a good uppercut! I know, Coach Hayes didn’t seem to have one, but it looks like he had a pretty good right cross though, just ask Clemson’s Charlie Bauman.
No matter, I know I could learn some pugilistic techniques at some of the awesome PSU tailgates that will be going on this weekend, so I know I could be a good Woody Hayes. Well, then again, hand-to-hand combat was never something I was very good at, so perhaps I ought to look in a different direction. I know…I can go as current Ohio State head coach Urban Meyer.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I do like and respect Coach Meyer because he is very well-versed in teaching football, but even more importantly, he is a man of true faith and places his family values above his coaching desires. Those are characteristics that I can respect no matter what colors he wears! However, I do have trouble supporting his adult film industry look! If you don’t know what I’m talking about, take a look at his appearances as a Colorado State and Ohio State assistant coach.
Doesn’t that just say everything you need to know about coach Meyer before becoming the great and powerful Oz that he is today! The only thing missing from Coach Meyer in this picture is what his adult film name was. I could throw out a few, but this is a respectable site, and I don’t want to sully the waters with such minutiae. So, since I don’t think I want to have to go through my Halloween having to explain why I’m dressed as an adult film star, I think we should just move on shall we?
Maybe trying to go as one an Ohio State coach just isn’t my cup of tea. I’ve got it, I can go as one of the Penn State coaches. I guess there aren’t many to choose from.
I could go as former Penn State assistant coach Jerry San…never mind! Moving on…
Maybe I can go as the winningest division 1 college football coach of all-time. No, I’m not talking about Bobby Bowden. He can take his vacated wins and shove them up Renegade’s horsey’s rear end! I’m talking about former PSU coach Joe Paterno.
Again, I have the glasses but not the Harry Caray Coke-bottle type. But, dang, trying to go as an octogenarian and in a blue sports jacket is going to be a little difficult fore me to pull off. I know I can coach the team from my seats in Beaver Stadium about as well as he was the last few years of his tenure in Happy Valley (It doesn’t matter who was really in charge of the team, it was just seeing Joe’s presence on the sidelines that made it all worth while). My biggest challenge will be trying to pull of his squeaky voice in a Brooklyn accent. Many have tried, but few have duplicated this awesome feat. Since I am likely to lose my voice during the big game Saturday night, maybe I should look in one final direction.
Should I go as Coach O’Brien’s friendly ghost? Well, if I do that, I ‘m going to have to grow a dimple in my chin, shave off my facial hair, and develop a new twitter account, “@reallyreallyevilbillobrien”. I already have the no-hair thing working, so there’s a plus on my side. At any rate, my ability to pump up the troops like he does might suffer, and I think I would have to grow a bit taller to be like the genuine article, but none-the-less, the blue and white colors, I think, really fit my style!
Oh drats, it looks like 110,000 of my closest friends have already picked up on the idea to dress in white and go as coach O’Brien’s ghost for Saturday night’s game. Looks like I’ll just have to blend in with the rest of Nittany Nation and salute the boys in the Blue in White!
Happy Halloween everybody! Be safe and enjoy Trick or Treating…even if you are from Ohio!
OK, before we take a look at the games we have on tap for week #9, let’s quickly take a look back at how my “prime-3″ games and extra points picks for week#8 fared.
For Full Disclosure:
“Prime-3″ Picks from last week – 3-0 ATS, 3-0 SU. On the season, my record stands at 12-12 ATS, and 14-10 SU.
Extra Points Picks (ATS) from last week – 15-9-0. On the season, my record stands at 70-51-2.
…As always, I will try and do better this week!
In this week’s installment of “prime-3″, our attention is drawn to three interesting match-ups that have national as well as personal implications. We will look at a game pitting two SEC teams, one that involves a church and a Big 12 team, and finally we delve into a titanic clash in the Big Ten. We will look at some key match-ups in the showdown dubbed the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party involving the #10 Georgia Bulldogs and the #2 Florida Gators. We then shift our focus to ABC’s prime time tilt between the #5 Notre Dame Fighting Irish as they look to remain unbeaten as they head into Norman Oklahoma to do battle with the #6 Oklahoma Sooners. Finally, we look at a classic that is near and dear to my heart, the Big 33 Clash between the Ohio State Buckeyes and the student-driven Whiteout of the Penn State Nittany Lions.
And, without further ado, let’s get to the “Prime-3″ games!
Tags: Bill O'Brien Florida Gators Football Georgia Bulldogs Football Jim Tressel Joe Paterno Notre Dame Fighting Irish Football Ohio State Buckeyes Football Oklahoma Sooners Football Penn State Nittany Lions Football Urban Meyer Woody Hayes