Penn State Football: Seven Reasons to Hate the Ohio State Buckeyes

No need to beat around the bush, you know the drill by now.

Despite their claims, Ohio State loves Michigan.

Need proof? “Script Ohio” was a gift, presented to the Buckeyes, by their “hated” rivals. I don’t know about you, but if somebody who I claimed to hate more than life itself gave me a gift, I wouldn’t go out of my way to show it every single person who came to my house following that day. Also, stop saying “tsun.” It’s ridiculous.

Ohio State = Kidnappers


Most of you probably don’t remember, but once upon a time, Brutus Beef Patty lived among his friends and peers in McDonaldland. That was, before the Buckeye football team swept in and removed him from his home, forcing him to shame on a weekly basis as the mascot for their atrocious football team. Shame on you!

Cam Williams, Armani Reeves, Tommy Schutt and Joey O’Connor


This Picture:















and this picture…








The 2006 AND 2007 National Championships

The Buckeyes took a pair of conference championships (probably shared) and rode them into the MNC. They were (undeservedly) given a chance to represent the Big Ten on a national stage and failed. Horribly. Twice. After losing by a combined 79-38, perception of the entire conference went in the tank. The blame for that falls squarely on the shoulders of Jim Tressel and his anemic offense. And Ted Ginn’s touchdown celebration.

High Street reeks of stale beer, urine and vomit.

How do I know? Because I spent my 21st birthday there, volunteering my services to all three scents. Regardless, the strip of “fun” at Ohio State University has all the smells of Time Square without any of the lights, buildings or attractive women. It makes College Ave. look like a portrait out of Heaven’s picture book.

Woody Hayes’ refusal to use his left.






















Coach, we’ve been through this! Use the jab to set up the hook! You can’t afford to be predictable when fighting kids 50 years younger than you!

Their fans.

These are the spoiled people who wanted Jim Tressel fired after every time he’d lose a game, as though 12 wins a year is supposed to happen to them. The same people who called Urban Meyer a snake and a cheater just a couple years ago, and now bow at his feet. The people who refuse to acknowledge Penn State as a rival, despite the fact that they’re just 4-3 against Penn State in their last 7. They cling to a dead rivalry with Michigan, who hasn’t been competitive with them since the Clinton administration. These fans, despite being owned by Purdue in recent years, entered last week’s game confident that they’d win by 30 simply because they wear red. This is the group of people who go out of their way to say “THE” in front of random things and refuse to say the word “Michigan”, acting as though it gives them some form of competitive advantage. The fans who will embark on central PA this weekend, fueled with Natty Light and jokes about pedophilia. Ask around the Big Ten and you’ll quickly learn which fans are the least liked in the conference. To further prove their worth, Ohio State fans will justify that hate, claiming it’s because of their success on the field. Meanwhile, those same people would be disgusting even if Ohio State didn’t have a football team. Except for my beautiful, loving wife. She’s cool.

Yeah, that’s eight. But who doesn’t want extra reason to hate “THE” Ohio State Buckeyes?

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