Sept 29, 2012; Evanston, IL, USA; Northwestern Wildcats head coach Pat Fitzgerald reacts during game against Indiana Hoosiers at Ryan Field. Mandatory Credit: Benny Sieu-US PRESSWIRE

Penn State Football: Seven Reasons to Hate Northwestern

Unlike last week, this did not come easy. Deep down, I’m a closet NW fan and Pat Fitzgerald is one of my favorite coaches in the country, doing things the right way, at an elite school, as a former linebacker. Unfortunately, this has to happen and might even come in handy, as it can often be difficult to cheer against Northwestern. Here’s some help!

They found six typographical errors in my lead paragraph.

Northwestern grads can’t just be smart, noooo. They have to walk around all pretentious like “That’s not how you spell favourite…” I don’t know how to argue that! I don’t understand silent “U’s” and what-not. Sue me!


Ummm stray cats are not wild. Cats are domesticated by nature. Sure, they’re annoying when they wander up and my mom feeds them then they live in the attic of the garage forever, giving birth to hundreds of other future “wild”cats until they end up dying and the next batch moves in…but they’re not intimidating.

Golic > Greeny

To the few of you who can stomach ESPN’s Mike and Mike radio show, you’ll know Mike Golic as the ex-Notre Dame defensive tackle who played beside Reggie White in Philadelphia. His two sons currently play at Notre Dame, as did his brother Bob, who was an All-American and got to work with Kelly Kapowski. Greeny, a Northwestern Alumni, is the other guy.  The one with no athletic background or allegiance with the aforementioned Kelly Kapowski.

Purple represents the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Ravens are the devil.

I’m a Browns fan. Many of you root for the Eagles or the Steelers. Some for the Giants. What we all have in common, is knowing that Joe Flacco is evil as is the winged ratbird on his helmet. I can’t confirm that Northwestern wears their colors as a tribute to the Ravens…but I can’t think of any other reason.

Northwestern thinks it’s too good for Chicago.

Facts: Chicago is an amazing city. You can SEE the Chicago skyline from Ryan Field. Northwestern claims to be from something called “Evanston.”
Why is it that the universities in Illinois have such a problem with being affiliated with Chicago? Iowa would LOVE to claim Chicago!

Repeated Wrigley Field Debacles

Remember when Northwestern played Illinois at Wrigley Field and one endzone wasn’t big enough? They put the field goal post in the ivy and switched sides every possession. For such a smart bunch of folks, you’d think mapping out a predetermined area inside of a predetermined space would be simple.
Then, there was the time Northwestern alum Michael Wilbon threw out a first pitch at a Cubs game dressed like this?


That’s a tucked in baseball jersey. Maybe it’s best that NW stay away from Chicago after all…

Graduation Rates Among Athletes

Every year the rates are released and every year Penn State shows up with a tremendous number. “Second in the conference behind only Northwestern…” Every time. Recruit a heathen one time! Doesn’t anybody every drop out of your school? There must be SOMEBODY who wants to rebel and move down the block to Chicago!


Bonus Reason:

Pat Fitzgerald should be the head coach at Penn State.

I know Bill O’Brien has won over the Penn State faithful, and rightfully so. However, it should have never got that far.
-Pat Fitzgerald was a great college linebacker. Penn State is LINEBACKER U.
-Pat Fitzgerald played under coach Ron Vanderlinden. Vandy coaches AT Penn State.
-Fitz likes smart athletes. Penn State loves smart athletes!
-Fitz had great respect and admiration for Joe Paterno. Guess where he coached?

We could have been happy together!



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