Fourteen Reasons to Hate The Temple Owls

After careful consideration, I decided to take a week off and pay some respect to Navy rather than be a total clown and try to find seven sarcastically bad things to say about men who are and will be serving our country. Unfortunately for Temple, that gave me extra time to think of sarcastically bad things to say about Penn State’s little step brother from the big city!

Get your  own stadium!

Honestly, Pitt and Temple, how is anybody supposed to take your football program seriously when you won’t do it yourself? You can’t just borrow somebody else’s field and hope nobody notices. When I get off my bicycle and drive my uncle’s Audi, people can tell that I’m a fraud by my cutoff jeans and stained wife beater. Same goes for you.

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This thing:

I have no idea what this beaked alien creature is, but the people of Temple apparently speak its language. It gets extra annoying around the 1:35 mark when it begins its mating call toward the interviewer.

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Temple fans are Philadelphia fans.

When Eagles fans and Phillies fans get bored on Saturdays, 3% of them head out to the Linc, in hopes that Santa Clause will show up so they can once again embarrass themselves by berating a jolly mythical character…because that’s a better option than watching the “football” on the field.

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Head Coach Steve Addazio coached under Urban Meyer at Florida.

If anything makes hating easier, it’s the words “Urban” and “Meyer!”

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This tweet:

@victorybellring You’re running a phony site filled with misinformation. Ty Haddock has repeatedly stated his committment to #TempleNation

— Go Temple U (@Go_Temple_U) September 6, 2012

Kid tells me “If they (Penn State) offered, I would think about it.” Then proceeded to ask about the depth chart and Larry Johnson. This joker ^^^^ who has never had a conversation with Ty other than to tell him that he’s “soooo kewl” on Twitter, decides that I’m obviously making things up… because 17 year old kids never change their minds about anything…

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Direct Mistreatment of Kevin Newsome.

NewNew is clearly the best quarterback on the Temple roster. I mean, their current QB is rocking a a completion percentage that would barely pass as a good batting average. However, due to Kevin’s history at Penn State, he has been exiled to the Temple bench, a.k.a. no-man’s land. Temple’s grudge against Penn State runs so deep that they’re willing to throw potential wins down the drain to prove a point.
Who am I kidding, even Newsome couldn’t help this team win…

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The Temple mascot is named “Hooter.”

Naming your mascot after boobs is inappropriate.