Defensive Player to Watch: Adrian Amos. Not only will he be a key in the secondary, his positive morning horoscopes on Twitter tell me good things are coming from him.
Offensive Player to Watch: Since Evil Bill cannot choose himself as the offensive star (though he will be), I will choose Matt McGloin. When McGloin joked that he was close to Brady, everyone’s panties got in a bunch.. except mine. Brady is good and all, but McGloin is the perfect understudy for Evil Bill. A QB that speaks his mind to the media with a little bit of arrogance, Evil Bill sees a little bit of himself in Double M. That being said, he’ll be a perfect leader for this motley crew.
9/1/2012 vs. Ohio University: I have seen many people concerned about this game, but basically 9 months of frustration come out that day. Also, fanboi @KyleRowand of 11 Warriors told us to mark down a loss and Evil Bill plans on disappointing him as well as the rest of the country rooting against Penn State. PSU 34 – Ohio University 14
9/8/2012 vs. Virginia: Everyone is calling this game a test to see how good we are as our 1st road game. Also, in December and January, lots of people wanted UVA Coach Mike London to be PSU’s coach. Evil Bill intends on proving that the home run hire was made and also wants to really ruin any fans day wearing a shirt and tie and acting like a jerk. PSU 27 – UVA 18
9/15/2012 vs. Navy: This brings me no joy to have to trash talk the Naval Academy so I will try not to, but Roger Staubach isn’t walking through that door. These players are top notch people and Americans, but their expertise is not beating an offensive genius. PSU 33 – Navy 7
9/22/2012 vs. Temple: Temple was so close last year to pulling it off. This year, they can turn the TV off at the half. The Blue Out becomes the Blow Out. PSU 44 -Temple 6.
9/29/2012 @ Illinois: This one is personal. The Illinois coaches may sleep in our hotel and knock on the players doors before the game looking for an autograph. We may lay it on so thick this game, that I leave the game early and catch some Ryder Cup action in Medinah, IL. PSU 24 – Illinois 1 (the 1 being for the lone player they poached from PSU)
10/6/2012 vs. Northwestern: Last 2 years have been an offensive explosion vs. Northwestern and the PSU offense was putrid. Imagine what this game may look like now. PSU 48 – NW 23
10/13/2012 BYE. Still may find a way to get a win this week.
10/20/2012 @Iowa: Not the best place for PSU memories, but that will change in October. PSU has a distinct advantage here at running back and after seeing Iowa only scored 3 points last year, expect more of the same. PSU 24 – Iowa 10
10/27/2012 vs. Ohio State: The 1st White Out of the O’Brien era vs. the new enemy, Urban Meyer. I think it’s time for some payback for some of the prospects we lost while Meyer was raiding the cupboard. PSU 21 – OSU 16
11/3/2012 @ Purdue: I will be putting the final nail in Danny Hope’s coaching coffin after this game. Purdue’s solid D will be no match for PSU that day. PSU 24 – Purdue 9
11/10/2012 @ Nebraska: Could be a tough task heading down to Lincoln for this game, but since we’ll be competing in football and not Shot Put, I like our chances. Also, Pelini needs punched in the face and maybe a stunning loss will substitute for that. PSU 17 – Nebraska 14
11/17/2012 vs. Indiana: Not on my watch. The week before Thanksgiving and we get to feast on the Hoosiers. PSU 48 – Indiana 7
11/24/2012 vs. Wisconsin: Senior Day! The last chance to say thank you to these players who decided to stick it out and root PSU on to a big victory vs. Bielema and the QB that was too afraid to be upstaged by another O’Brien. Can’t see this being a loss either. PSU 23 – Wisconsin 21