Dear Mr. Joyner,
I know you are probably reading this, because you have admitted that you read blogs and mine is certainly worth reading. I’m not sure where you find time during your stressful, 2 month search to find the perfect person, but you do. Thank you for your time.
While I have you, I’d like to say thank you for the vague non-answers to every one of our questions. I don’t blame you. What do you owe us? We’re only the people who pay for 108,000 over-priced tickets to fill up your beautiful stadium 8 times a year every fall… in rain, sleet and sometimes a random 14 inches of snow in October. Why do we deserve to know anything about what’s going on, right? You’re in charge and you should make that clear every time a microphone enters your personal space. Hell, if you really want to show us who the boss is, you could just avoid hiring a coach at all! That would show us! Wait…that’s not what you’re doing, is it? No, of course not. You and Ira…errr I mean the committee, are conducting a specific and methodical search, just like you’ve said several times. Although it’s unclear what “methodical” means, it is clear that your methods are unlike those of Arizona State, Pitt, Texas A&M, UCLA and the dozen other schools who have already hired new coaches. They clearly acted irresponsibly, without interviewing or at LEAST contacting every American football coach who is, or has ever been employed, to make sure they haven’t missed anything. Kudos on your thoroughness.
Even though you haven’t yet hired a new head coach in the past 57…58… 2 months, you have accomplished a quite a bit:
You’ve all but destroyed what was left of journalistic integrity, making respectable guys like Adam Schefter look silly. You have made this coaching hire such a news priority that people have stopped caring about which story is right and now only care about being the first to report that the latest rumor is true. I suppose eventually one of them will be right and will toot their own horn, ignoring that they previously reported deals were done with Munchak, Schiano and O’Brien.
You have created “flight tracking” as a method of rumor-starting. Thanks to you, we now know that if a plane leaves State College, PA and flies to somewhere in Iowa, that means Kirk Ferentz is being interviewed. That Penn State plane flies a LOT but we’re onto you. From my database, you have interviewed candidates in approximately 12 states and one over the phone… Also, Ira once left Mississippi and flew to his home in the Virgin Islands. That’s right, we know about that, too.
Most recently, you created something on twitter called Sekrah. “Sekrah” originally claimed to be an insider, aware that a hire had already been made, yet torn on whether to announce it… but later threw in the towel and was exposed as a hoax. I for one think that you, Dave Joyner, IS Sekrah but I can’t prove it.
-Sidenote regarding Sekrah: Insiders aren’t anonymous. They want you to know who they are and that they’re insiders. Also, if he wasn’t going to release a name, what is the point in the anonymity?
I thank you for all of these things, but I’d trade them all for one head coach. A good one, too. We did not wait 2 months to watch you fire Tom Bradley and replace him with some no-name coordinator. If that happens, the next letter we write will not be as kind. Remember that big stadium I mentioned? What’s-His-Name O’Brien isn’t filing that stadium. We didn’t get strung along since mid-November, watching some of our most coveted recruits create options for themselves, so that you can FINALLY hire a guy they’ve never even heard of. Are you familiar with Noah Spence, Dave? Never mind.
I’ll let you get back to the coaching search. I hear the Penn State plane landed in New Jersey today. After their interviews, please tell Rex Ryan, Greg Schiano, Tom Coughlin, Joe Girardi and the Russian who owns the Nets that I said hello.
Thank you for your time,
Penn State Fans
Make sure to follow me on twitter @TimTolleyVBR !